10 cards:

1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs:

1 Fig Newton

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks:

1 literhosen

2 monograms:

1 diagram

8 nickels:

2 paradigms

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter:

Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup:

Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash:

1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:

bananosecond

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour:

Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie soda:

1 lite-year

Half of a large intestine:

1 semicolon

Shortest distance between two jokes:

A straight line (think about it for a moment)

1000 aches:

1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis:

1 hoarsepower

453.6 graham crackers:

1 pound cake

1 million microphones:

1 megaphone

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital:

1 I.V. League