"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" (U R)

"In the dark? Follow the Son."

"Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."

"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."